Is it true...it's "never" and "always"?
Next Step #04 - In this issue, I'd like to feature the bad habit that I was trying to get rid of; that is overgeneralizing. I am sharing my views on this which I hope can be useful for you too.
Hi Friends,
This week, I am featuring the bad habit that I am trying to get rid of; the word is overgeneralizing.
🧠 For context, overgeneralizing is a thinking style that uses a limited event or experience to draw an overly general conclusion.
✅ Last week went pretty well for me and I stepped into the weekend to complete the rest of my to-dos; feeling optimistic. I had 3 things that I wanted to do for the weekend and two of those were easily ticked off from the checklist on Saturday.
Here come Sunday morning with 🎼 Sunday Lofi songs were playing at a perfect volume as I was looking into the last list of the week - ⎘ To edit my Youtube video that I filmed last Thursday and publish it on the same day.
⌛️ After an hour of merging the audio and video (cos I am such a newb in editing, other people would have done this in 10 mins!); I realized, I didn't film one part of the content, and also the audio was terrible. The content was missing! The audio was terrible! Great... just great!
🎬 I had spent over 2.5 hours filming myself for a 10 mins video; Oh God Oh God Oh God! (I was screaming in my head). How can I be such a dumbass? (😭 Cries)
💔 In an instant, I get really upset. It felt like the world has flipped and my life has ended. The weekend now has turned into a gloomy day, dark sky and leaves rusted in a strong wind, like the scene in a fantasy book when the angel of death is about to walk into town.
🌚 All of a sudden, it was all suck!
😢 As I was grieving over the effort of filming myself has now gone to drain, I hear myself making a bold statement like "My weekend always sucks!" and "My video skill is never getting better!"
How did I overcome that moment alone?
A few months ago, my therapist taught me a simple exercise in challenging the thoughts to positively reframing and reduce anxiety. Whenever you hear the voices in your head are labeling you, challenge the thought by asking, "Is this true"?
Every one of us (I think mostly women) has multiple and dissonant voices in our heads that send us a contradictory message. I call them "finger women" that is the size of Thumbelina 🧚🏻♂️. Loads of them with different kinds of personality in our head (In my defense, I am a woman…we women like to cover every angle of identity here. Don't judge!). 🌊 That's the culprit to our mood swing that changes faster than the tide and moon cycle.
🌪 As I was battling with my internal dialogue with those finger women to answer if my first thought was right. I silence them all to think. I knew it was not true. It was never and always true at all!
Committing myself to remove the "Always" and "Never" from my vocabulary really can do me a favor for my mental health and anxiety state. Perhaps for you too. 😬
🤨 So what if I could not be shipped out my Youtube this week? That means instead of having to spend the next 4 hours editing a video on a Sunday, I might as well use the time to write an article for an hour and use the rest of the hour to do some other stuff. I can still make something happen on a Sunday, it doesn't have to be what I planned to do. Right?
That thought-provoking process is what saved my day. All of the sudden, leaves stopped rustling and the sun is crisp and clear again. Just like that, I am back to my normal me.
Insane. Yup. But it worked. It just needs a lot of practice.
🍫 Let me be honest here, some days it won’t work. When that happens, just chomp a huge bar of chocolate or box of donuts 🍩. That would work too (It works for me! 😂)
🤢 If you ever feeling like you often have anxiety and self-doubt in you, you might want to pay attention to the choice of words that you use to describe your situation. Overgeneralising can limit you from interacting with others (which I wrote about this in my article - refer to the "Look What I Made" section). In a long run, it can affect your mental health and take control of your life.
What I Found Fascinating This Week
How to Mentor Someone Who Has Manipulative Tendencies - Was extra curious to understand how to deal with a "manipulative" behavior. This article can be a companion to the article that I published this week.
https://rytr.me/ - A’s dad shared with us a gem that can help you plot better quality content based on your preferred keyword with a help of Artificial Intelligence writing assistance. It is free as long as you don’t use up your daily limit!
Look What I Made This Week
Mistakes That Stops You From Understanding Others - Wrote a sum of common mistakes I experience when am trying to make conversation with others or when others try to have one with me.
My Favorite Quotes
"Choose not to be harmed and you won't be harmed. Don't feel harmed and you haven't been" - Marcus Aurelius
"The beauty of a chess move lies not in its appearance but in the thought behind it" - Aaron Nimzowithsch
And yes, frankly my friend, things may not always go the way you wanted but remember everything is workable!
Thanks for reading my rambling. If you find this type of writing resonates with you leave a comment below and consider subscribing to Next Step!
❤️ Love & x,
Wawa Hals