Name the voice in your head
Next Step #07 - In this issue, I'd like to feature a sci-fi Netflix series that have got me hooked to most of the content (not all!). It 's about the calling and voices in your head.
Hey you!
I was so glad that I listened to Rachel! I genuinely enjoy sitting here by myself with cuppa coffee, a pen, a journal and a laptop!
👩🏻💻 As I am writing this note, I am sitting at a very corner of a coffee shop a few minutes away from my home. Honestly, I was so close to staying in my pajamas and starting writing instead. “Heck with this, woman! Get changed and go!”. I heard myself said it to me.
So I get changed. Grabbed my backpack and left home.
There was a squeak of regret when I climbed up the staircase as the coffee shop is located on the first floor. The staircase felt so high for me to put one foot after another and I don’t enjoy the knee pain it made me feel. “Ugh! Why did I choose to come out?”
Checked in the premise using the app. That’s what we do nowadays; what Covid made us do. “Ugh! So now the government know where I am too?!”. I am not a fan of current location check-in on social media at the time of visit. It is evidently dangerous to share those data out which translated a person’s everyday routine. Read this if you don’t believe me!
I pushed the coffee shop’s door and the doorbell jingled as I walked in. “Hello, welcome”. A nice-looking lady in a black apron wrapping her waist greeted me. She and the other two ladies who were behind the counter looked at me. I can’t tell if they were smiling since we were wearing masks.
I threw my backpack on a chair and looked up to observe the surrounding. “This better be good!”. Still regret that I came out of the apartment.
The shop smelled like a fresh brew coffee, with the bright natural light glazing through the wide glass window. Slow lofi-music playing as background. Slowly the grumpines. like this!” I whispered. There were no other customers, it was only me. “..andddd….I loveee this!”
Isn’t great that you listen and made that choice to come here after all? - I heard that voice again. Oh shut up! Order that rose latte and start writing.
So I did! and took bunch of pictures too…
Half an hour ago I was all grumpy and unhappy for no freaking reason. I knew I wanted to do this, sitting at a coffee shop and writing this newsletter. Neither do I want to go through the trouble to get here. Hence the battle with the voice in my head. I lost that battle and listen to it anyway.
I knew in my gut that this is going to be a good time at the cafe! I don’t why the resistance and a lot of such self-talk. Not the first time, it has always been there. Those voices come and go in almost everything I do. Especially when I need to make decisions.
All this conversation in your head? Rubbish. I know. But don’t we all have that voices that give us a strong inner impulse toward particular things we think of to do or felt of doing in the first place? It was a spectrum of a moment.
If you’re in this moment where you need to make a decision between this or that OR being here or there; it’s perhaps worth giving the voice a name.
Rachel. I mentioned her name in my first sentence earlier. Yup. Rachel got me here to write to you! For me, my decision voice is called Rachel. Took the name of a paralegal character in Suits who I defined as a strong and independent woman.
The idea here is not to be cute like a 4-year-old toddler who self-talk loudly. You can try, only if you are comfortable to draw the attention of other adults looking at an adult being intense talking to herself. 😆
In a recent Netflix series that I started watching, Manifest refers to high driven impulse and thoughts towards a certain course of action as the “Callings”. It’s a condition that the returned Flight 828 passengers felt after they mysteriously landed at the airport after 5.5 years.
“Annoying, frustrating vague” - Professor Ben
The quote felt true to me especially when I am thinking of my future goals for the first time. Do I want to be there? or here? Do I want to do it? or not? Is it really going to do me good if I do that? Annoying. Yes. Vague. Always. Frustrating too. There was no assurance if it's a right thing and that is no comfort for me!
Scientifically, there’s an explanation on how self-talking encompasses 3 stages of action; (i) private speech about a completed task and action (ii) an action in progress (iii) finally, making a conclusion. This process repeats itself so many times throughout the day to form a story. Another way of saying this is, what you decide to say and listen from that voice is going to shape the outcome and turn it into a decision/action habit and steps.
And so, I have a name for mine. Start to name yours too :)
Thanks for reading, human ❤️
❤️ This week’s highlights and favorites
Book - I had re-read, Harry Potter. Finished the Philosopher's stone and found myself smiling, feeling the warmth inside than I have been in decades. I think that was how long was I last read HP. I don’t know why I have not been reading it as an adult, I just don’t see the wrong if I keep doing it ~~ it has so many hidden reminders to me. Magic spellbind together for one to remember to “LevioOsa!” “rise up” when the tough adult world tries to sag you down.
Book - I am currently reading Wildwood. It’s about a 10-year-old girl, Prue, who went on a magical adventure in the woods to find her baby brother. It has a Narnia vibe in this book, so if you like Narnia you probably will love this one too. I am loving the illustration on the pages and although only 10% through the book, I already bought the sequels. Another book that I am reading is How To Be Strategic -; type of book that you can’t just lie down in a beanbag and absorb the storyline. Get ready with a pen and notebook with this one. It has all the facts and actionable frameworks that will teach me how to change my style of thinking and be more strategic. 30% through the book already!
Illustration of Wildwood book cover Song - I found peace as I write or study when I listen to this writing playlist on Spotify. Don’t know any new songs; maybe I have heard it this week but I can’t remember the name 😆 - maybe next week I let you know!
🙁 Not-so-great this week
My channel - I have been thinking a lot about how to grow my Youtube. I don’t really like the work done by the Fiverr video editor. Don’t get me wrong, you can find good talents there only maybe it’s my first time and friends told me that it will take a few before I can find an editor’s style that suits me. I missed two weeks’ video and I am dreadful!
Health - I have not really gotten good sleep for 72 hours before collapsing with fever and long hours of sleep since Friday evening! It made me realize that my body may have gotten more sensitive to caffeine from coffee and black tea, although I have tried to limit intake for coffee before 12 pm and black tea before 4 pm. Here’s to no more black tea and coffee after 12 pm hoping the next week I could have a better sleep.
👩🏻💻 Look What I Made This Week
Bookshelf on my website page - I finally created a bookshelf on my website; some of the books may have me written the summary and takeaways on my blog page. This page is going to be my accountability partner on getting me to read and write more this year! I just found out Jack Edwards read 164 books last year! That’s insane. I am 4/35 at the moment, got to push through!
Booknote of The House In The Cerulean Sea - The book cover is gorgeous and the story is even more beautiful! It’s a book that will leave your heart with warmth and wondrous about the life that you have always wanted to have!
Ending this writing to you with a quote of my own, “If you always after the possessions of future and condition yourself to enjoy life only after your hands are full of them; you will never ever live a contented life in any kind of moment of the now.” Imagine yourself keep saying ‘Next time I will enjoy this, ‘I will do it when I have so much money..Enough already, live in now with whatever you have with you now.
Also, my dear friends, remember, “Everything is workable!”
If you find this type of writing resonates with you leave a comment below and consider subscribing to Next Step!
❤️ Love & x,
Wawa Hals